Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Believing God

I've started working on my Believing God study. I'm very excited about it and a little nervous. This study is about learning how to believe God - not the believing that comes with salvation (believing that Christ died for my sins so that I am assured of a home in heaven), but active, continual, persistent seeking after God that I need in my life. Last night the section I was working on ended by asking me to write down all my "but's" for this study - what I felt would hold me back, what my obstacles were, etc. I tend to get discouraged easily when it comes to Bible study. It comes so easy to others and sometimes it takes me much longer to grasp sections and wrestle through portions that I tend to feel left out and behind. Add that to the stigma and the (sometimes) incorrect assumption of being the Pastor's kid who should know all about the Bible, and you get a girl who tends to be more than quiet in a Bible study setting. I start to compare myself to others and how they are responding and being moved by the study and only see how far short I fall instead of what I am learning.

But - and this is a positive "but" - God is going to meet me where I am while I do this study. He promises in Scripture that He gives wisdom to those who ask, and I have. He promises to reveal Himself to those who are seeking, and I am.

The lesson ended with Isaiah 54:10:
For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake, but my loving kindness will not be removed from you, and My covenant of peace will not be shaken, says the Lord who has compassion on you.

Lord, whether You move the mountains of struggles before me, or You shake up my world even more, You promise that You will NEVER remove Your lovingkindness - Your loyal love - Your covenental love - from me. And that's what we are in, Lord - a covenant. Even through the ups and downs you promise Your covenant of peace on me - I can be sure You are with me through it all! You have compassion on me Lord - You see that I struggle with actively believing. Meet me here, Lord. Teach me how to be silent and quiet before You and to hear the words You speak to me.

1 comment:

  1. I think we must be related, I tend to feel the same way in Bible studies, comparing myself to everyone else's responses. I have the Believing God study, that is my next study to do. I hope God uses it to reassure you of your value in his kingdom, just the way he created you!


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