I just finished reading the third volume in the Princess Diaries Series. They are cute books for a quick read when I'm wanting to totally veg out. I am borrowing some of this list from the book because I thought it was funny:
Things You Learn From Watching Baywatch
1. If you are paralyzed from the waist down, you just need to see a kid being attacked by a murderer, and you will be able to get up and save him.
2. It is always easy to get a parking place near the beach.
3. Male lifeguards always put a shirt on when they leave the beach. Female lifeguards don't need to bother.
4. If you meet a beautiful, but troubled girl, she is probably either a diamond smuggler or suffering from split personality disorder: Do not accept her invitation to dinner.
5. If people are mysteriously dying in the water, it is probably because a giant electric eel has escaped from a nearby aquarium.
6. It is very easy to outswim a shark.
7. Wild seals make adorable and easily trained pets.